My looks are fading and it leaves me to ponder the great big void that will be left in my new world. I mean, dealing with my looks as it involved others took a really big chunk of my time. I think I’ll be a little lost.
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Beach
Preparing for the beach
Getting ready to go to the beach with Maria tomorrow! First time in two years. Much has changed, my body being one; when did boobs stop being boobs and become mammaries? I tried my bikini on and it was clear that this is probably the last year that I can still get away with wearing one. And this year’s already pushing it. The dimples all over my knees, thighs, and stomach; a small but yet noticeable belly; my shoulders hunch over, seemingly with a mind of their own. I turned to the side to look at my profile and my breasts were heaving over my bikini in so many places, it looked like a volcanic eruption. Just the weight of them was so much that the pressure it was making the straps tied around my neck start to dig in to my skin. I would have marks around my neck like someone strangled me with a cord, I didn’t think the flimsy straps would hold out all day – it looked like two boats being suspended by two pieces of duct tape. Let’s not even venture into the forbidden zone of my face – I’ve made my peace with that already – it’s just I didn’t expect to see this transformation of my body happening. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still thin and shapely, but just not flawless anymore. It used to be: wow, you look great! Now it’s: wow, you look great “for your age”!
CoVid19
Christine
I am riding back from the vet’s office in an Uber. I am and thinking of you and crying. My tears for you will forever be in my mask.
My poetry
I don’t want to be awake
(Apropos of nothing — don’t read anything into this, just feeling down)
I’m going to sleep
Cause I don’t want to be awake
I don’t want to be where I am
Today
I don’t know what tomorrow brings for me
I don’t know what the options are
For me
Suicide promises to solve your troubles
But how do we know for sure?
I don’t want to take the chance
So I’m staying put for now
I’m just gonna go to sleep
Cause I don’t want to be awake
Just wanna go ooo to sleep
To hear this being sung in melody, visit my YouTube channel: My Loyal Beloved Pug
My poetry
An ode to my sister’s cat
Minxy, little one, you were born over there, on 64th Street.
Somewhere in someone’s backyard.
From the beginning you were unwanted. Your family murdered.
As would be apparent later in life, your unwavering determination helped you to survive. You were snatched up by a kind neighbor who brought you to Lorraine.
Lorraine offered you to Dolores.
I held you in the palm of my hand, marveling at your diminutive size.
Such a small being with so much will to live.
The first night you wouldn’t sleep.
I held you next to my heart and you finally fell fast asleep.
I had to leave you though. I didn’t really think of you when I did because I knew you were in good hands.
And sure enough, for eighteen years you went on and prospered in your new home with your new family.
Dolores loved you like no one else would have. You both shared a special bond that few of us ever experience. You didn’t show your loyalty to her until a few years before you’d gone away.
I guess you had your reasons. Cats are mysterious creatures that do not
like to be examined. But when you did share your love with Dolores, it was sublime.
Through the years, when I would visit I noticed you had become distant with me.
I didn’t mind as I didn’t live there anymore. Plus, it was an innate part of your feral beginnings.
I watched you grow up to be the most handsome physical specimen of a gray tabby I had ever seen. Maybe I was partial though. But even your grandmother would comment on what a beautiful, small head you had. You were very regal.
And your aloof attitude was consistent with that of a very proud feline. It matched your looks.
Soon, before we knew it, the years accumulated and you were getting ready to leave.
And just like when you were a kitten, something tried to kill you. But you fought hard and maintained your dignity.
And the whole time you continued to show nothing but love and respect for your soulmate, Dolores.
Then you left.
Minxy; it would be an impossible feat to describe the empty hole you left in our lives.
But wherever you are, just know that when you were on this earth, you were worshiped by us.
You probably didn’t realize then, but do now, how lucky you were. For not everyone on this earth feels the same.
I mean, you lived, like humans do. You breathed, like humans do. You played like humans do. You slept like humans do, you ate like humans do, but yet you are not considered on the same level as humans.
Hopefully, Minxy, we will have the joy of re-uniting with you in Heaven.
Love, your former owner
Animals
This Song
This song goes out to Cecil
Lying in wait in the bush
Scared and alone, you were hunted
You had no name, you had no reprieve
Now the world knows your name
Now the world knows your pain
This song goes out to Sparkle
Family is there to love you
They are supposed to protect you
you were just there
Just wanting to play
But nobody told you
Not to trust the wolf in sheep’s clothing
This song goes out to Iron
They threw you out,
but had no way of knowing where you were to go
you went to the steel mill and made iron insides
Iron go towards the sun
This was only a test run
This song goes out to Caitlyn
You didn’t deserve what happened
But ignorance led to the acts
that stopped your barking
And calling for help
But you wandered into salvation
And now your story is a symbol
This song goes out to Glenny
This was your domain your whole life
To come and go as you please
But the powers that be
said you were a nuisance
You were taken and then euthanized
So fly tonight
you are ready for freedom
I am not sure how to post link, so this is a screenshot of the song on Youtube.
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Hello universe!
When I was younger, around the time of the dawn of the computer age, I would think of thoughts and wanted to type them on my old DOS computer screen and press a button hoping to send my thoughts over the vast interweb. Now this is the closest thing to realizing that.